(This was Dr. Dre’s to-do list for about a decade. I don’t know how his hands got orange but uh…. well, it’s a mad world, isn’t it?
Fuck off, Dre.
Daft Punk? They’re so insanely brilliant, it takes them 6 years to make an album… Maybe they had to make everything perfect. THAT’S AN ILLUSION. That’s the illusion of professionalism… No. No, making music wasn’t a priority for them. Perhaps they were touring. Fair enough. That’s not lazy. I’m not saying touring is lazy. I’m saying sitting on your ass collecting a check while you act like you’re constantly reworking your tracks and making them perfect (ahem, Dre, AHEM)… Just get that shit done. Have other people give you input. Your tracks are far from perfect, anyway. What’s the last Dre hit? …. I … I couldn’t say… I remember that clowny one with Eminem and 50, lyrics like, “So crack a bottle, something something something.. something something lotto…” .. That one was alright. I’d say mostly cuz of Em and 50. Actually, I really like 50 on that one. He had a a surprisingly exceptional vocal range. I enjoyed it. Funky shit.
BTW, if you’re a new artist practicing to get started, this article is NOT about you. I want to clarify that.
But come on now… As far as finishing albums is concerned……. If Dre hadn’t said “I don’t smoke weed, it gives you brain damage, I’d accuse him of just being high…” (though I will give him IMMENSE credit for helping the movement to make weed cooler in the early 90s than in the 80s… Snoop, Dre, and a host of other rappers repped weed and strayed from crack, which was NOBLE AS FUCK, and I’ll give him ample credit for that. No sarcasm there, I’m very serious). As far as taking ten years? I know he’s got other projects, but ten years? I released a nearly-50 track album a month or so ago, took almost a year. Granted, some of the tracks were short, but the whole thing was 2 hours. I’d say it was decent. In fact, I’d say it was great :) but I didn’t even work on it everyday. In fact, there would be weeks where I’d ignore the album, out of laziness or busyness or whatever… But I still got it done… Now, you might say – “Ok, Will, but is it as good as a Dre album?”
FUCK YES! Dre’s beat’s are made of plastic. His headphones are a joke. An overpriced joke. Dr Dre is a joke.
Don’t get me started on that shitty band came along right before Nirvana helped kill hair metal… uh… what was it? OOOOH – Guns ‘n’ Roses. 20 years. Literally 20 years. Rock went through a number of phases since that last GnR album. You coked-out fuckbags (not YOU, I’m referring to GnR, lol).
I like that term…. “Coked-out fuckbags.” I’m gonna use that. Yeaaaa, coke makes you speedy, helps you get shit done? Well uh… two full decades on Chinese Democracy isn’t exactly efficient. And the Chinese Democracy Movement of 20 years ago was HUGE – and I know that in small / medium underground pockets here and there, China is slowly gaining true democracy… But, I feel like that’s not really the point. The point is, that douche singer from GnR, Axil Rose (stupid name) is just a big coked-out fuckbag who throws too many tantrums and is behind the curve and can’t catch up. Sure, he could stick to his roots, but that album was sorta like an older band trying and failing to get into the new style, because they never took the time to try to understand, “the new style,” which is.. well.. arrogant, to say the least. Also, lazy.
One might say, “Maybe making music isn’t a priority for them anymore…” Ok, Guns and Roses were comited to an album for two decades. That counts as SOME kind of priority. Dre made tracks, allegedly (?) deleted some of them, started over, over and over… (Well, that’s the story I heard, anyway…)
That’s not removing a priority. I don’t expect Sir Mix a Lot to drop an EP next month.. LOL.
Who else is there? Well, there’s Eminem. He had his pill addiction he was dealing with and he basically got into a funk (not a good funk) and disappeared for years… It was unfortunate, because I enjoyed a lot of his stuff. I enjoy some of his newer stuff, too. What was it, anyway? Valium.
Wow. This was an angry post. Hmm… And I took that chill-pill, too. Ah well. I know I’m right. And you know I have at least a few good points in here.
I’m sure there are TONS of other lazy ass bands. Feel free to post in the comments.
MERRY CHRISTMAS! I KNOW IT’S APRIL… FUCK IT, MERRY CHRISTMAS ANYWAY!